Shippie Wife Tales #3

I'm fixed!

Geyser - Done!

Water Leakage Wall (filled with algae) - Done! (Yes! That Happened in the monsoons)

Car fan belt - Done! (Yes! That too)

Income Tax Returns -Filed! (I dont know why I'm putting this on the checklist.)

Done. Done. And Done!

Happily Sitting in my 4th month now (of shippie life, before you ask me my due date), successfully being a Shippie Wife. Do I miss him? Like Crazy! But there are ways to distract oneself. Friends, Family, Pub Crawling, Exercise, Dance classes - REPEAT!

One of the worst parts of this arrangement is matching your time with his. And it doesn't help that once you've set your routine accordingly, hes moving to another country. I think I gave up keeping tabs on his time after the second month. We'll talk when we're meant to talk. 

7am (IST)

Awake and ready to go for a walk. 

Pinged Shippie - "Hey! whats up? Just got up."

12 Noon (IST)

At work, in the middle of a heated discussion. 

Shippie Pings - "Hey! Just got up! whats up?"

Cant reply, so put the phone down, for a bit, to get back to discussion. 

4pm (IST)

Listening to music and suddenly realized, haven't got back to Shippie. 

Pinging Shippie, right away - "Hey! At work.. How's it going with you?"

Can only see single ticks on my WA messenger. :(

7pm (IST)

Just got home from work. Wondering who to hang with today. Maybe i should get ready to go out and then figure who to call. Had a long day, headed in for a shower, music on loud. 

Shippie Pings - "Good! good! Just finished lunch. Where are you?"

830pm (IST)

Ping Shippie - "At Home! Just heading out"

10pm (IST)

My Cell phone is dead. 

Shippie Pings - "where you going?"

11pm (IST)

At Home, charging my cell phone. Switch it on by 1115pm. 

Ping Shippie - "Just went out to grab a bite. What you doing?"

1230am (IST)

Shippie Pings - "Just got done with work. Awake?"

Me - Zzzzzzzzzz

230am (IST)

Missed call from Shippie

Me - Zzzzzzzzz

7am (IST)

REPEAT

This goes on for a whole week. It's like that never ending conversation of "Hey! What's up?"s. Atleast I know, he's alive and kickin'

Saturday - 230am (IST)

Shippie Calls, we talk and finally, I feel like I have a husband. Ok stop! before your mind starts racing, I'm only talking about the warm and caring questions only a husband would ask. :)

4am (IST)

Wide awake, I suddenly hear a loud sound from the fan and it comes to a screeching halt. 

*SIGH*

Shippie Wife Tales #2

Well, the Invertor and I have, now, become friends.

My recent enemy - The Water Geyser in Shippie's Bathroom. Yes! We do not share bathrooms.

Shippie (before leaving) - Don't forget to fix my geyser

Mee - Aye Aye Captain!

Shippie (In Mumbai boarding the plane) - My Geyser needs fixing.

Mee - Im gonna miss you too, babe!

Shippie (first phone call from the ship) - Hey! you managed to get someone to fix my Geyser?

Mee - Of course! Please, it's so awesome, I'm using your bathroom to have my long showers!

2 months since, Shippie's left. That geyser still ain't fixed buddy!

I'm sitting at work, stressing over a client and suddenly, BAM! I think of the Geyser. I log into UrbanClap and happily look through their services. Booked a service appt for my fridge & AC, Booked a massage (They have Massage! Yayiee!) and a mani/pedi. What's a massage without some extra pampering, right? Back to work!

Oh hold! went back, tapped on the app and got the geyser "fixer upper" to come too! All this scheduled for the weekend. It was Wednesday.

10 minutes later... Phone Rings.

Strange Man - Hi Ma'am....Blurrrr Blurrr more Muffles.. Where do you want me to come?

Mee - for what?

Strange Man - for fixing your fridge?

Mee -What! are you kidding me? (to myself: This is Like Uber, all over again, You book and the next second they call you, "Kahan aana Hai Madam") I've scheduled it for 2 days later.

SM (sheepish) - Haha! yes yes, what is the work?

Mee (slightly annoyed) - All the details have been given. Please call me on the weekend.

Sudden Epiphany, In mom' voice - Don't be mean to strange men, it's a bad, bad world out there!

Mee (smiling) - Ok? I'm just a little busy na, now. Sorry haan.. Aap Weekend pe call kar lo.

SM - Sure!

Hung up.

Went back to my UrbanClap app and cancelled the fridge request.

Next day I had a repeat telecast of the exact same conversation with the AC servicing guy and I went ahead and cancelled that request too. Inefficiency and Dumbness are my pet peeves and I was hoping my Geyser guy doesn't bail on me.

2 hours after scheduled day and time, Geyser Guy doesn't show up. I cancel the request. I'm huffing and puffing and just call the nearest local electrician to take a look, he's too busy for the next 3 days, but I still schedule a time with him.

A day later in the evening, I get a call.

Geyser Guy - Sorry Madam! I had a problem yesterday, should i come today?

Mee (Shuffling between being mad and nice) - No! I already found someone.

GG - Why Madam? I can come now.

Mee - But I'm not at home. I've cancelled the request. thank you.

GG - But Madam, I am in your area (PERV!!!)

Mee - But I'm not in my area and I FOUND SOMEBODY ELSE!!

GG - I can come tomorrow also...

Mee (Is this guy for real? To hell with  what mom says, I'm going ape shit on this guy) - Can you not understand when I've said it once, i have found another person to fix my geyser. You didn't come yesterday and now I'm not home. Please stop calling me.

HANG UP

The same night I'm heading home, extremely scared of being mean to an electrician, but also feeling a little relieved for venting out my frustration.

It's been a week and I do get up in the middle of the night feeling anxious about a certain electrician knocking on my door. But i guess that'll wear off.

As for the geyser? Still not fixed! Looks like Shippie's gonna have to come back and do it himself. ;)

Shippie Wife Tales #1

It's been about a month and a half since Shippie left. Feels Weird. Always thought, I was one of those independent girls who didn't really need constant attention and company. But I was wrong.

I went from crying at everything, to calling my cold a sympton of death, to counting the number of days I've got left to live, coz this life is way too long and i have no one to spend it with.

Emotionally I was a Wreck, i still am, sometimes. But i had to do all these normal, mundane, household chores that were Shippie's responsibilities for over a year.

Shippie and me on our first phone call -

Shippie - Hi Bubb! How are you?

Mee - How am I? How am I? how am i supposed to be, when you leave me here all by myself?

Shippie - Ok! i was just looking for the word 'Fine'

Mee - Do you know that this house stinks of moisture every time i walk in after work. What is that all about? Also, there is some green stuff growing in the kitchen behind the sink, I'm not even entering it anymore. Also i have this horrible thing happening in my ears, can you imagine one person can make such a huge difference to the acoustics of the house!! I think you're going to find my body when you get back.

Shippie - Ok! stop worrying me. You'll be fine. Gotta go!

Mee - But.. i haven't even told you how i feel yet..

CLICK!

I spent days, hearing a ringing sound in my ear. I kept wondering why this was happening. I had to visit an ENT, but that could wait. Can't go to a doc without Shippie.

Bestie - Dude! your ear needs to be checked! this guy was hearing the same sounds and he lost his hearing. The docs have cured him, but now he keeps hearing the sound, even though, it's not there. You know what you're doing to yourself.

Mee - But it's strange i can't seem to hear the sound when im out with people. It's only at home when I'm alone.

Bestie - You need to go to a doc.

I was staying over at her place and after that conversation, i just wouldn't rest. I had to visit an ENT.

Mee - Let's go!

At the doctors, supremely excited about having normal BP, especially after the stress i was feeling. The ENT guy called me in and (you might want to skip this bit, if you're eating) pulls out years of muck from the ears.

Doc - You have a completely blocked right nostril, do you snore?

Mee - I've been told, although i haven't heard it myself. But then again, I'd have to stay up to hear it and then i wouldn't snore coz.. you know.. you have to.. be asleep. to snore! ANYWAY.. what's my cure?

Doc - oh it's just a mild cold and blocked ear and nose. Steam is all you gotta do.

Geez! spent 500 bucks for something my sister in law's been telling me! I can almost hear her say, "I'm half a doctor, listen to me sometimes!"

Anyway, i come back home after an eventful weekend at my bestie's and that sound is back! That ringing, WTF! Im going to lose my hearing, I told shippie he's going to find my body, what good is a body if it can't hear.

Pacing up and down the house, trying hard not to cry i stop in the passage that leads to my room and there it is.., the sound! It just got louder. I trace my steps back and I can feel the sound getting louder, as i reach the point i was at again. Wait a minute.. This isn't my ear.. This sound is coming from the house. Hold on!! it's the Invertor!

Shippie (Laughing hysterically) - I'm surprised bubb, you never noticed.

Mee - No! I didn't! Why is that sound coming from the invertor?

Shippie - Its a big invertor, i ensured you could go through 5 full days of no electricity. Or else, there'd be no light and then you'd think you're blind.

Mee - I need you to come back, we're going to move into a smaller house with a smaller invertor.

Shippie - Anyway, i gotta go! Ring me later.

Mee - Uggggh!! Ring!!!